Christian Family/Relationship Christian Guide

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! Why separation is allowed in a Christian Marriage?

Written by onetruth

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! Why separation is allowed in a Christian Marriage?

There are two categories of Christians:

  • the wise Christians
  • the foolish Christians

Proverbs 22:3 KJV “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” In this scripture, “A prudent man” means “a wise person (Christian)” while “the simple” means “the foolish person (Christian” and ” the evil” means “domestic violence”. It is the foolish Christian that will see the evil (domestic violence) in the Christian marriage and will continue to live in the violence until the evil ( violence) takes away his or her life!

The Bible says God’s people (not Satan’s people) are destroyed/perished for lack of knowledge; and it is not good for the soul of a Christian believer not to be without knowledge and it is through knowledge the just/righteous (the born again) shall be delivered – and you shall know the truth, the truth (the word of God) shall make you free: Hosea 4:6 NKJV, Isaiah 5:13 NKJV, Proverbs 19:2 NKJV, Proverbs 11:9 NKJV and John 8:32 NKJV “My people (God’s people NOT Satan’s people) are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge…. Therefore my people have gone into captivity, Because they have no knowledge; Their honorable men are famished…it is not good for a soul to be without knowledge… But through knowledge the righteous will be delivered…And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

It is good and right to have a deep knowledge of what domestic violence is all about, especially in a Christian marriage according to the above quoted scriptures.

The knowledge about the truth of domestic violence is a reality in a Christian marriage!

And it is required to know of what to do in order to save one’s life.

The truth about what to do as regards domestic violence is essential for every wise Christian in a Christian marriage. When the right knowledge is applied (wisdom), someone’s life is saved.

In any human relationship, there are always two major types of offense:

  • Normal conflict
  • Domestic violence.

The word of God says as far as human relationships are concerned, there must always be offences –  Luke 17:1 KJV “Then said he (Jesus Christ) unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come…” 

  • Normal conflict

The number one type of offence is conflict. This is normal. We should know and understand that conflict is part of every intimate relationship. Therefore knowledge, wisdom and understanding with the right counseling are essential for conflict resolution skills.

Fruit of the Spirit (the Holy Spirit) easily resolve it – Galatians 5:22-23 KJV  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance (self-control)…..” These components of the fruit of the Spirit (the Holy Spirit) are required, especially for a Christian marriage to grow into full understanding and maturity.

  • Domestic violence

The number two type of offence is domestic violence. This is evil. Anything that is violent in a Christian marriage is evil because the opposite of evil is good – Jeremiah 29:11 KJV “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” The expected end of a Christian marriage is the success of the marriage.

Christian marriage is a gift from God.  

In a Christian marriage, one spouse (husband or wife) should not be taken for granted.

A Christian marriage is the right atmosphere/environment to engage in sexual relations and to build a Christian family life. A Christian marriage is a public declaration of love and commitment.

God considers the Christian marriage to be a biblical agreement between a Christian husband and a Christian wife as well as a commitment between the Christian couple and Him (God) – Malachi 2:14 KJV “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.”

God expects the Christian couple to dedicate themselves to the healthy Christian marriage relationship, and to recognize individual couple’s responsibilities, duties, and loyalties both to each other (husband and wife) and to God Himself.

Domestic violence in a Christian marriage is from the pit of hell. It is Satanic in nature. And the word of God counseled us to stay away from any form of evil or any appearance of evil – 1 Thessalonians 5:22 KJV “Abstain from all appearance of evil”. Domestic violence is evil.

Domestic violence in a Christian marriage is any form of evil or any appearance of evil that threatens any spouse’s life and has the ability to take any spouse’s life, therefore stay away, excuse yourself , from that marriage – temporarily fail to continue with that marriage as your life is being threatened.

To stay away is not divorce but separation.

What is domestic violence in Christian marriage?

Domestic violence is any type of manifestation of misbehavior that a person engages, or threatens to employ or use, to control a marriage spouse ( husband or wife) in a Christian marriage.

Look at the two key words from the above definition:  “threat” and “control”.  The domestic violence in a marriage is all about threat to create fear in the abused spouse;  and control to oppress the same abused spouse.

Six (6) forms of domestic violence in a Christian Marriage

The domestic violence in a Christian marriage can be subdivided into six (6) forms:

(1) Spiritual – this form of violence in Christian marriage is very common among  the ministers of God/pastors. The unbelievers do go diabolical or use fetish means to threat and control the abused.

(2) Physical – Violent actions of domestic violence  are hitting, slapping, beating, biting,  pushing, and kicking. With time the physical abuse will mature and graduate to  more frequent and severe physical damage or injury that may lead to either permanent physical disability or death as a result of the sustained injury.

(3) Emotional – this type of violence has to with frequent negative criticism, insults, demoralizing an individual’s self-esteem, unwarranted criticism, put-downs, and name-calling.

(4) Sexual – This includes any violent sexual acts that are forced on one spouse by the other

(5) Psychological –  This includes a wide range of behaviors such as intimidation, threats,  isolating the victim from friends and family, controlling where the victim goes, making the victim feel guilty or crazy, and making unreasonable demands.

(6) Economic – This has to do with limiting the victim’s access to family income, preventing the victim from working or forcing the victim to work, destroying the victim’s property, and making all the financial decisions at will.


God hates divorce – Malachi 2:16 NKJV “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence…” That is, in a Christian marriage, don’t divorce because of domestic violence but you can stay away (separation) because one of the spouses has covered himself or herself with domestic violence – one of them has put on the garment with domestic violence

According to the above quote Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce except on adultery – Matthew 19:9 NKJV “And I (Jesus Christ) say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

The point is that once you are divorced in a Christian marriage, you cannot marry again until when your divorced spouse dies – Mark 10: 11 – 12 KJV “And he (Jesus Christ) saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”



However, separation is allowed/permitted because the word of God says wisdom is the principal thing – and this wisdom is profitable to direct – the word of God does not say prayer with fasting is the principal thing to continue staying in the marriage clothed with the garment of domestic violence;  but wisdom – the word of God does not say prayer with fasting is profitable to direct  the marriage clothed with the garment of domestic violence; but wisdom –  Proverbs 4:7 KJV and Ecclesiastes 10:10 KJV “ Wisdom is the principal thing….. wisdom is profitable to direct.”

The marriage clothed with the garment of domestic violence comes to steal, kill and destroy most especially in Christian marriage if permitted or allowed.  Domestic violence has no place in a healthy Christian Marriage Relationship. It is a life threatened type of offence (violence). Every wise Christian must do everything to avoid/ prevent it if it is possible but if not, please wisdom of the word of God demands that you stay away , that is, give room for separation!

One of the Biblical reasons why separation is permitted in a Christian marriage is that where there is no love and peace but violence, the Spirit of God (the Holy Spirit) is no more there as light and darkness are parallel lines that can never meet together and cannot coexist to live together. When light appears, darkness disappears.

Love and peace represents the presence of God in a Christian marriage as God is love ( 1 John 4: 8,16)!and Jesus Christ represents The Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) . But violence is evil that represents darkness and presence of Satan.

When there is love and peace in the Christian marriage, automatically there will be joy (not sorrow, the product of violence)! In between love and peace in a Christian marriage is joy because the first three (3) components of the fruit of the Spirit are love , joy and peace (Galatians 5:22). And all these three components show the presence of God in the marriage will bring forth the liberty ( the absence of violence) in the couple ( spouses – Christian husband and Christian wife) – 2 Corinthians 3:17  KJV “Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

Violence allows separation unto staying alive for the wise Christians to stay away from the domestic violence in the marriage and still be alive in the land of the living – 1 Corinthians 7:15 KJV “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” Violence is opposite of peace! The unbelieving is the hater of peace and the lover of violence in the marriage, so the abused spouse facing and suffering from the domestic violence should depart for peace to reign and life to be saved and prolonged.

Violence allows separation unto death for the foolish Christians to continue living in the violence and after a short while, he or she dies and passes on to the world beyond in the land of the dead – Proverbs 22:3 KJV “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.”

In this scripture (Proverbs 22:3 KJV), “A prudent man” means “a wise person (Christian)” while “the simple” means “the foolish person (Christian” and ” the evil” means “domestic violence”. It is the foolish Christian that will see the evil (domestic violence) in the Christian marriage and will continue to live in the violence until the evil ( violence) takes away his or her life.

Be a wise Christian , never you be a foolish Christian because in Christianity we have two types of Christians – (the foolish) and ( the wise). The foolish ones will surely die in a Christian marriage with the garment of violence.

The separated spouses can still come together, live together in the future while the life is protected and preserved!!

During the period of staying away (separation), the church or people concerned to resolve the domestic violence between the two spouses will continue to pray with fasting and at the same time with counseling for the separated spouses; for God to work on their individual hearts because God has not created any human being that He cannot change his or her heart – Proverbs 28:1 KJV  “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.”

To study in detail for a better and deeper understanding, read for free this rich and Holy Spirit filled publication at KDP AMAZON, my book : “Pastor’s Little Foxes: The Secrets Of Pastor’s Little Foxes In The Vineyard”

Note: Proverbs 23:23 NKJV “Buy the truth, and do not sell it…”

Please, bless someone or group of people in Christian community with this publication by sharing it. It means that you belong to the great company of the children of God who published it – Psalms 68:11 KJV “The Lord gave the word: great was the company of those that published it.”

About the author


Olusegun Ibikunle has devoted his entire life to the service of his Master Lord Jesus Christ since 2003, greatly adding value to lives. He is into the propagation of the gospel of Christ of righteousness and holiness on the earth. By the grace of God, he is the founder of the Holy Army of Christ (HAC) Ministries. The ministries God has used to bless the children, the teenagers, the youths and the adults.

He has a B.Sc. degree in Industrial Engineering. The Holy Spirit inspired him to write this book for the edification of the Body of Christ and the benefit of Heaven-bound Christians in the last days (end times).

He is a great life coach. He holds seminars across the globe.

Leave a Comment