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CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE IN 21ST CENTURY – “Challenges and Solutions”

Written by onetruth

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE IN 21ST CENTURY – “Challenges and Solutions”

Marriage is a general term but for the Community of Christian believers, we shall talk of a Christian marriage.

The Christian marriage makes up of a Christian husband and a Christian wife – genuinely born again Christian spouses.

God did not create marriage for the unbelievers.

The marriage crested by God for the Christian believers is explained by our Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 19:4-6 KJV “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

The Christian marriage is one husband and one wife in Christ Jesus – Genesis 1:27  KJV and 1 Corinthians 7:2-3  KJV “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them…..Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.”



Every manufacturing company has a manufacturer’s guide, instructions, or manual or better still user’s guide for every product so that the product will not be abused or wrongly used. A user’s guide is a handbook containing instructions on how to use a product (device). God is the author of marriage: Genesis 2:18, 21-25  KJV “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him….And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

Look at the last verse (verse 25), the scripture says “the man and his wife” NOT “the man and his wives”

The number one challenge in the marriage in 21st Century is refusal and failure to adhere to the God’s marriage template for the Christian believers. There are many teachings,, doctrines,  practices in a marriage in the world today that are completely contrary to the Christian marriage tenets by the word of God (the Holy Bible).

The solution to this challenge is to accept God’s marriage template as it written in the Bible.


This  is another challenge in a marriage in 21st century!

What is feminism?  Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. That is woman is equal to man and by its application in marriage, wife is equal to man. This is a big challenge in 21st century in the marriage because this (feminism) has no place in the Biblical Christian marriage. That is, Jesus Christ does not permit feminism in a Christian marriage where He (the Lord Jesus Christ) is the author and head of the Christian marriage.

However, in the Christian marriage, wife (woman) is not a slave to her husband (man) – she is a helpmeet to her Christian husband (the man): Genesis 2:18 KJV”And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

In a Christian marriage, God the author of marriage put leadership in place just like in the body of Christ (the church) – the husband is the head of the wife just exactly like the Lord Jesus Christ is the head of the church: 1 Corinthians 11:3  KJV and Ephesians 5:23 KJV “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God…For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” God set up this for the purposes of leadership and responsibility in the Christian marriage for a Christian family.

As I said above that wife is not a slave neither a housemaid but a helpmeet to her Christian husband in the Christian marriage. There is a biblical understanding that a Christian wife should be submissive to and reverence her Christian husband: Ephesians 5:22, 33 KJV “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord….Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

Please take note that the Christian husband must love his Christian wife unconditionally in line with the word of God – Ephesians 5:25 KJV “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

once again, read and study deeper Ephesians 5:22, 33 KJV “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord….Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Here God is talking to His daughters (not every female is a daughter of God) – talking to His daughters only in the Christian marriage because even Sarah called Abraham her husband “Lord” – 1 Peter 3:6 KJV “Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” Therefore, feminism is not allowed in a Christian marriage – it is not for a Christian marriage at all.  In other words, there is no room for feminism in a Christian marriage.

In the schemes of things with God in everything which is also applied to a Christian marriage, there is always thing being done decently and in order: 1 Corinthians 14:40 KJV “Let all things be done decently and in order.” Feminism does not and will not allow all things to be done decently and in order in a Christian marriage.

Solution to this challenge in a Christian marriage in the body of Christ in 21st Century is to avoid and prevent by all possible means the idea and manifestation of feminism in the marriage.


The same-sex marriage in the church to produce the same-sex couples is never the true Christian marriage ordained by God. God is not the author of the same-sex marriage as the same-sex marriage is a confusion in the church/Christianity – and  God is never the author of confusion:1 Corinthians 14:33  KJV “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”

Same-sex marriage is a false marriage in the church – and this poses a great challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century. Same-sex marriage is a non-Christian marriage of the unbelievers to produce non-Christian couples in the secular world.

The word of God (the Holy Bible) kicks against and never supports any form of same-sex marriage in the church or Christian community – Leviticus 18:22-23 KJV “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.” You can see from this scripture that the same-sex marriage brings confusion, therefore flee from any form of same-sex marriage.

God says His children should have nothing to do with the same-sex marriage. It is an abomination unto Him (the LORD God) – Leviticus 20:13  KJV “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”

In the New Testament, God gave no room for the same-sex marriage – Romans 1:26-27 KJV “For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.” From this scripture, the same-sex marriage in the church/Christianity is an error.

The same-sex marriage in the church/Christianity is an error controlled by the spirit of error – 1 John 4:6 KJV “…the spirit of error…”

In the New Testament, He (God) gives zero tolerance to the same-sex marriage: Romans 1:28 KJV “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.”

The challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century is the issue of legal proceedings and legislative action in a number of countries that have given civil recognition to same-sex marriage relationships. The people who are advocates of the same-sex marriage think it is right unto a man but they have missed it, absolutely wrong because one of the ways of death is the same-sex marriage that appears to be right to a man in life : Proverbs 14:12 KJV  “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death”

The generation of the same-sex marriage in 21st century thinks that the same-sex marriage is pure in its own eyes not knowing and not having a spiritual understanding that the same-sex marriage is filthiness to God – Proverbs 30:12 NKJV “There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, Yet is not washed from its filthiness”

The solution is total obedience to the word of God by giving zero tolerance to the same-sex marriage in  the church/Christianity: Psalms 33:10-11 KJV “The LORD bringeth the counsel of the heathen to nought: he maketh the devices of the people of none effect. The counsel of the LORD standeth for ever, the thoughts of his heart to all generations.”


This is another challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century. The Almighty God says He hates divorce:  Malachi 2:16 KJV “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…..”

Infidelity, lack of preparation for marriage, immaturity on the part of partner, irreconcilable differences, barrenness, wrong choice of spouse, social status/class,  domestic violence, maltreatment or physical abuse, monetary issues, ex-boy-girl friend reunion, incompatibility, family interference, misunderstanding of marriage, contract marriages, and the issue of sex are the major factors contributing to the alarming rate of divorce.

Solution is faithfulness, love coupled with understanding and forgiveness: 1 Peter 4:8 NLT “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”


 The empowered Christian women possessed the following qualities:

(1) They are strengthened by Christ –  Philippians 4:13  KJV “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

(2) Power of choice to follow Christ to the end by His word – Luke 6:46 KJV and John 14:30 KJV ”And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?…. Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

(3) They have confidence because of whom they are in Christ – Colossians 1:27  KJV “… Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

(4) They allow the word of God to control their life – they have control by the word: Psalms 119:9, 11 KJV  ”Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.”

(5) The Christian woman is empowered by right to the quality education that gives her sense of self-esteem, self-control and self-worth. As mentioned above, she is empowered by right to the power of choice (freewill) to decide and determine – to choose and obey what the word of God says with regards to the issues of life.

(6) The Christian woman is empowered by right to have access to prospect, opportunities and resources available as long as she is qualified. She has access to the word of God 24/7 as her source of power to control her own life at home and outside her home

(7) The typical empowered Christian woman is a virtuous woman who has God’s given ability  to positively and godly influence her family and society as the salt of the earth and the light of the world;  her social life glorifies the Name of Jesus Christ in the world- Proverbs 31:1-31 KJV and Matthew 5:13 -14 KJV.

Upon all these mentioned above, the challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century is the abuse of the women’s empowerment.

Some Christian sisters who are at marriageable age in lucrative jobs, they are being too choosy prefer to be single parents rather than getting married to very good Christian brothers in the church. And the result of having children without right Christian marriage will surely come from the process of fornication (sexual sin). They have money to take care of any number of children they desire to have so they have this false belief that they don’t need a Christian husband in their life. But this is not according to the word of God – 1 Corinthians 7:2 KJV “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”

Thus, this unchristian mindset in a Christian marriage to think you can have any child/children without a Christian husband for the reason that you are financially okay is where abuse of women’s empowerment comes in into their life.

The abuse of women’s empowerment that discourages mature and marriageable Christian sisters from getting married before having children and preferring to be single parents (single mothers) because of their affluence (riches and wealth) is a challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century. The word of God does not allow a genuinely born again Christian to have a child without the Christian husband in a Christian marriage: Hebrews 13:4  KJV “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

Solution to this challenge is humility and always allow the will of God prevail when the issue of who to marry arises.



Faulty foundation: the word of God says if the foundations are destroyed what can the righteous do? – Psalms 11:3 KJV  “If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?”

Someone may ask: how a faulty foundation is a challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century? Some good Christian sisters have experienced delay in getting married in time; some very good Christian single sisters have experienced several disappointments and a broken relationship which is far better than a broken Christian marriage; and following the prolonged delay and running out of patience for God’s timing, they choose to marry any men, even at times already married men whose wives are still alive! This is a faulty foundation in a Christian marriage. It is really a challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century as it is becoming a common practice in Christianity.

Faulty foundation is when a genuinely born again Christian gets married to an unbeliever in contrary to the word of God – 2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

The solution to the faulty foundation is to go back to God for the remedy in the Name of Jesus and you must have to exercise patience by faith on your own part, then be rest assured that God will give you the right husband – Proverbs 18:10  KJV and Hebrews 6:12 KJV “The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe…..That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”



I never condemn the power of internet/social media but only its negative influence if it is not controlled. Look at what the word of God says in 1 Corinthians 15:33 KJV “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”

Constant exposure to the negative influence of social media is a challenge to the Christian marriage in 21st Century.No doubt, the positive influence of social media is of great benefits to the body of Christ (the church). Every true Christian has power over the power of internet/social media to choose and control information being exposed to.

Solution is to control the constant exposure to the negative influence of social media. We have the power like a remote control while choosing the television channels to choose and control what we see and hear on the social media. The information we constantly expose to shapes, forms our lifestyle through what we see and hear.

To study in detail, get some copies of my books as displayed at top of this website by olusegun ibikunle at KDP AMAZON. Just click on anyone of them and it will take you to my books at KDP AMAZON.

Note: Proverbs 23:23 NKJV “Buy the truth, and do not sell it…”

Please, bless someone or group of people in Christian community with this publication by sharing it. It means that you belong to the great company of the children of God who published it – Psalms 68:11 KJV “The Lord gave the word: great was the company of those that published it.”


About the author


Olusegun Ibikunle has devoted his entire life to the service of his Master Lord Jesus Christ since 2003, greatly adding value to lives. He is into the propagation of the gospel of Christ of righteousness and holiness on the earth. By the grace of God, he is the founder of the Holy Army of Christ (HAC) Ministries. The ministries God has used to bless the children, the teenagers, the youths and the adults.

He has a B.Sc. degree in Industrial Engineering. The Holy Spirit inspired him to write this book for the edification of the Body of Christ and the benefit of Heaven-bound Christians in the last days (end times).

He is a great life coach. He holds seminars across the globe.

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